happy new year

I held my steak in one hand tonight, biting off one piece at a time, while holding Esme, who gently whimpered the whole meal because it was past her bedtime. Kellan, spent the last half of the meal repeating the same few lines over and over ("I cleaned my bowl. I cleaned my bowl. I cleaned my bowl.") Jolon had to be reminded 5 times to get back in his chair, and each time he had a ready excuse (Esme dropped her toy, I want a bigger spoon, Kellan dropped his bread, I have to pee, and I need a cloth). Hoikuen has been out all week and we're all on holiday. Wonderful.....sort of. The days are long, it's too cold to get outside for very long, and patience is wearing thin around the Wells-Watson house. Someone is always whining, crying, complaining, arguing, wanting-needing something, right now. We're tired of the poo poo jokes, the "I did it by accident" slamming of doors, the laughing too loudly, the dropping of spoons on the wooden floor, the "Jolon did hit me"s, the refusals to wear hats, mittens, vests and subsequent "I'm cold, I want to go home"s 10 minutes after we've left the house. Against natural instincts but so as not to go crazy, we've been laying down the law, getting stricter about everything from speaking too much Japanese at home, to talking with your mouth full, to singing at the table. We're on the verge of banning of singing all together I think, which sounds pitiful, but if you've ever heard these two try to recreate the kagura music they hear at festivals, you'd understand. Yet as we expected, laying down the law is just about as exhausting as putting up with all of the annoying things in the first place. Perhaps once they've gotten used to the new rules, things will get better, but by that time they'll be back on the regular hoikuen schedule. Always in the back of our heads and especially once they are all asleep for the night, is the knowledge that they are great kids and these are not problems, just annoyances, which will change and be replaced before we know it. But I am tired. The nice things today though were cooking a beautiful steak for Jan and seeing him enjoy it even though we didn't get a chance to talk during dinner. Playing hide and seek with Jolon. He is still young enough to hardly be able to stand waiting for me to find him, and he loves springing up on me. Seeing him laugh today in the park completely made my day. Kellan got so cold this afternoon (it was snowing) that he started crying and could hardly stop. Jan had Esme and so I got the chance to pick up my almost 3 year old boy and carry him home. I haven't carried him in awhile because I always have Esme, plus he's getting awfully heavy. I really enjoyed it. And although it's been taking me nearly an hour to get Esme to sleep these days, every night she falls asleep sucking her thumb and stroking my hair. I love her pulling on my hair. The boys didn't really do it, and it's such a sweet thing for a baby to do. Happy New Year.